6 Questions to Ask Before You Move in with your Significant Other
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by Ice Artificio
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Sep 08, 2023
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General
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Moving in with your significant other is a huge step.
Unlike having a roommate (whether a stranger or a friend), sharing a home with your partner is more intimate. It reveals a whole other side of your girlfriend/boyfriend you may have not seen before. Such circumstances can either make or break a couple.
So, before you make that decision to live with your significant other, here are 6 things you need to ask yourselves before signing that lease together:
1. Are we splitting the rent, bills, and groceries?
This is the first thing you need to discuss. Stay as level headed and objective as possible. You want to be practical and talk about each other’s income and job stability.
This will cover everything from how frequent you get paid to how you will cope if one or the other’s paycheck gets delayed, or worse: if one of you gets laid off.
Some couples split utilities and groceries equally, while others assign a person for a certain expense then allot a budget for it accordingly.
Have a good conversation about it and make sure to voice out what seems fair or if something is far-fetched. You may also want to discuss what will happen in case you decide to part ways mid-contract.
2. How far is the unit from our respective workplaces?
One of the biggest reasons to rent an apartment is proximity to the workplace. This should ring true for the both of you.
If you are working on opposite ends of the metro, is one of you willing to compromise for the other? Or should you meet halfway? We recommend the latter.
3. In what ways can we improve our financial management?
Let’s be real: many couple fights stem from money problems. You must have a clear grasp of how you and your S.O. handle money.
Do both of you spend like there’s no tomorrow or does one of you have a thrifty approach to your earnings?
Living together will require you to share some, if not all, of your finances. So you need to know how you will use each other’s strengths and weaknesses in this area.
4. How are we handling cleanliness and chores?
This may sound like a small matter initially, but it is important to discuss how chores will be distributed. Furthermore, who will be in charge of what and how should it be done?
Odds are, you’ll both be working and by the end of the day, when you are tired and have a short fuse, small things like not immediately cleaning the dishes or keeping the toilet seat up (or down) can be a source of friction or conflict.
5. How much stuff are we bringing?
If you are getting a small space, it does not make sense to bring in huge pieces of furniture or all your childhood memorabilia.
Discuss how much stuff you can bring and what your options are for items that will not fit in your would-be apartment.
Are you both okay with raising pets in your potential home or is that a no-no? Is one of you a minimalist or a clutter-bug?
6. How often are we having guests around?
It’s great to have friends and family around at home but only for certain periods of time. This especially applies to you if you are an introvert.
If you’re an extrovert, we doubt that having people all the time in your place of rest is going to make you happy. No matter how outgoing or friendly you are, recharging your social batteries is always important.
Not to mention the clean-up after can be tedious. If you’re not comfortable having people around, try to identify how much you can tolerate.
Come to an agreement like people can come over, but only on weekends and they cannot stay beyond 11 P.M. Or they can visit as long as they clean up after themselves.
Final thoughts
The great thing about moving in with your partner is that you can complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work as a team.Don’t be afraid to talk about sensitive matters, especially on areas you think you will clash. An open-minded and clear discussion will help the both of you in the long-term.
From there, you can start or continue browsing possible homes for rent that will fit your needs while listening to Beach Boys’ Wouldn’t It Be Nice - a classic song we recommend to all couples.
Do you have any questions that you think everyone should ask their significant other before moving in together?
We’d love to hear it in the comments below!
* This blog post was improved by Nina Tambal on September 2023.
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